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Rena X Jurina [Oneshot]: Requited or Unrequited?
It all started at school when I first saw you come out of that room with a broom in your hand as I stood on the second-floor open walkway. I myself needed air and space from the people around me but you, you looked like you had just made an escape with that distressed look on your face. Did something happen, I wondered. But even with this thought in my head, at the same time, I thought you were very cute. You piqued my interest at that moment and I smiled as I eyed you from afar.
I got curious of you. I wanted to get to know you. I wanted to get closer to you. I had to.
The same day at lunch was our first contact of any kind.
When I arrived to the cafeteria, my “girlfriend” approached me and gave me a lock-shaped necklace and put it around my neck. To her it symbolized her feelings for me and she never wanted me to take it off. Our bodies were close but she wasn’t the one I wanted to get close with, at least not anymore. I still smiled and accepted it nonetheless; it was very sweet of her to be thinking of me with such strong feelings. It was too bad that I couldn’t return them.
But then I saw you behind her after we sat and ate quietly. Coincidentally, you walked our table slowly, and before I knew it, I held out my hand and I caressed the bare skin of your thigh. It was so soft and smooth, as if you’d get addicted to touching. This need to touch you more welled up inside me from this moment on.
I caught your attention; you looked back at me with confusion. But when our eyes connected, we were trapped in each other’s gaze. A connection between us, we both felt it. But I didn’t feel that she watching the both of us, filled jealousy and green envy. How shameful of me, to do this in front of her.
Our next meeting was when our classes got combined into one, you sat in the row in front of me and a column to me right. Watching you from behind, it gave me a sense of joy because I was able to see you and at a closer range than from afar. You began to fill my thoughts, but this time in more detail.
It was our self-study period but not a lot of us actually studied, that included me, but not you. You were studious and serious about work and school. Just from that I could tell that you weren’t experienced in love and relationships, if I did, would you let me teach you?
I heard a cry of pain and I looked towards you. You had cut your finger on the edge of the paper and the wound bled, holding it with your other hand. I was concerned that one of your slender fingers was damaged but with a cool demeanor, I stood up, walked over to your desk and took your hand in mine. You didn’t protest. It was red and small amounts of blood attempted to spill over so I put it in my mouth, cleaning the wound with my own saliva. It made you blush, looking away from my gesture of kindness, embarrassed but you didn’t take you hand back. It’s absolutely amazing how cute you are and how easily embarrassed you get; I just wanted to hug and squeeze you.
Little by little, our meetings grew more frequent. As time passed, we became closer and closer. My feelings for you were a small candle flame but soon became a bonfire of passion. I loved you and I wanted to make you mine. And I knew that you felt the same even without saying. Having never spoke of our feelings, I knew how you felt towards me and you knew as well.
Some days later, we both sat beside each other on the bench of the bus stop. You usually had to bus home so I often walked you to the bus stop just so I can spend more time with you. But this time around, I wanted to do something more.
I presented to her a necklace, the same one she gave to me but I did not want it, but I didn’t tell her that. Using the same symbolism that she used, I placed it around your slender neck. You smiled so happily, like a school girl, that it also made me smile as well, it made me want to hold and kiss you. We promised each other that we wouldn’t hurt each other; we’d be there for each other. We promised that, and I intended to keep it with my life.
I moved back and our eyes met again. And we stared at each other for so long, our eyes spoke words we couldn’t. We were only focused on each other, gaze unbreakable and loving, and not even the car collision broke our concentration even though it was only a few feet in front of us.
Our faces were close and oh, how I wanted to kiss you so much but I knew how shy you were, especially about intimacy in public. But even so, I inched closer and closer, attempting to take your lips in mine, but for your sake I held back and shifted to your ear and I nibbled it softly. You got embarrassed, it was so cute.
We were very happy, so happy. But…
But… it all crumbled in one fell swoop. I broke my promise.
Here I am now, three days later, at bench that bench again, this time alone, where I gave you that necklace, where nibbled on your soft ear, where not even a car collision would distract us… Where I made that now-broken promise with you.
I looked up and saw dark clouds roll in. The rain began to fall and it fell heavily. I, with no umbrella to protect myself, got soaked to the skin. I then hung my head, looking at the ground. I didn’t care that I got wet or soaked; it simply reminded what happened earlier the day after.
What happened that time, that time in the classroom, you caught her kissing me. It put me in a state of extreme worry and guilt. I pushed her off staring at her angrily, feeling the intense want to slap her but I couldn’t; I just couldn’t believe she did that knowing that you would be watching me. I called your name but it was too late, you had already run off, unable to watch anymore. I chased you into the rain, I caught up to you in order to explain but you called me names and yelled at me continuously. Still angry about before and without thinking, I slapped you; it was the biggest mistake I ever made and also the biggest regret of my life.
You struck my cheek with the palm of your hand. And the way you looked at me with sadness, anger, and betrayal, it scared me and it broke my heart. You ripped the necklace off your neck forcefully and threw it at my chest and I let it fall to the ground. Then you ran off again. I couldn’t build the confidence to follow you so I watched you shrink in size as you got farther and farther away from me, until you were out of sight.
I broke our promise, broke your heart, it was understandable to you had to break mine as well. IT was only fair.
I don’t deserve anybody. Not her, not you. I never did. I played with the heart of one and betrayed the other.
You are too pure for me. So pure, it made me guilty to try and make you mine.
My feelings for you weren’t meant to be requited. They never were.
Suddenly, I no longer felt the many raindrops falling on my back and head. I look at the ground in front of me and a pair of legs stood in front of me. I must be coming down with something, seeing things, there’s no way that you be standing here. I shook my head; no it’s just a hallucination caused by my unrequited feelings for you.
“You’ll catch a cold if you sit here in the rain without an umbrella, Jurina.”
Am I not hallucinating? The voice was so familiar, so kind and warm. It couldn’t be, after what I’ve done to you, you shouldn’t be standing here trying to help me. I didn’t want you to see me like this, but at the same time I felt this warm happiness inside, one that made me want to jump up and hold you close and apologize repeatedly.
Slowly bringing up my head, you caught me in your gaze, your beautiful eyes met with mine and everything became brighter and the rain stopped. You perfect face became clear as day.
Rena: Why didn’t you use any names in this until the end?
Jurina: Oh, I wanted to make it sound more mysterious, you know? Having to figure out who’s who as you’re reading it, then when you finally have an idea of who they are, at the end, you’ll see if you’re right or wrong.
Rena: *Nodding* Oooh I get it. And it’s based off our upcoming PV, right? So you’re “I” and I’m “you” and Churi is “her” or “she”. But that sounds confusing!
Jurina: Yup, that’s right! I can’t wait for it to be released! I’ll be watching it over and over and over just so I can watch Rena-chan be all cute and shy with me. *grins*
Rena: *blushes* J-Jurina-chan!